When couples exchange marriage vows, they promise to love and cherish “from this day forward”. However, they often fail to understand this implies a vow to embrace their mate’s past as well.
Marriage is usually defined as a legal union between a man and a woman. A more complete definition would include reference to a blending of personal characteristics and prior life experiences. Once you get caught up in the moment, it is quite easy to accept or make a proposal of marriage before considering how our mate’s past will impact the marriage. There are several areas of our mate’s past we should take into account prior to getting down on one knee or taking that walk down the aisle. Some of the major factors to consider are emotional health, medical history, financial responsibility, and spiritual development.
Emotional Health
Past relationships can have both a positive and negative impact on one’s emotional health. How you react to certain situations today will be influenced by the way in which you handled the pain and joys of the past.Marriage, as a contract, should require a finding that both parties are of sound mind before signing that license or vowing “till death do us part”. You may attempt to determine whether your mate is emotionally healthy by asking certain key questions. No matter how extensive the list of questions, you still have no assurance of what you will actually see in practice. A more reliable gauge would be long-term observation in a variety of settings and under differing conditions.
Medical History
When thinking of medical history, the more obvious issues related to sexually transmitted diseases are quick to come to mind. Although if you’re planning to have a family, there are other important health issues that must be divulged. In order to anticipate potential risks your children may face, you need to know your mate’s medical past as well as their parents and siblings. Inherited traits may range from those as simple as poor vision to more life changing diseases such as diabetes, heart conditions, or cancer. The extent to which your mate knows their family medical history could be an indication of past family dynamics. Their lack of this knowledge could be a result of dysfunctional or non-existent relationships within the family.
Financial History
Unresolved debt and pressures to meet routine financial responsibilities in a household can have a devastating effect on a marriage. As you consider a life mate, it’s critical that you not ignore their past financial history. This doesn't mean you have to request a credit report and judge them based on their credit score or the average daily balance in the bank accounts. Even if you do have access to this information, you also want to know how they handle financial responsibility in general. One’s past attitude toward fulfilling financial obligations to creditors and managing their own personal finances is often a reliable predictor of what your future may hold.
Spiritual Development
Whether you’re contemplating a new union or working to improve your current marriage relationship, your spiritual maturity will play an invaluable role in overcoming your past personal challenges. As we continue to feel negative emotions and replay scenes from the past, couples must work together to put past mistakes behind them. They must rely on God’s arm of love and forgiveness to experience freedom from past mistakes and
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